Party Girl

"Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it." I never really got that saying. I mean really, wouldn't you think that if you truly wish for something, you would be thrilled to get it? Well, I think I get it now.

When Kaitlyn was first diagnosed, I spent lots of time wondering what her future would be like. I was especially concerned about her social life. Will she have friends? Will she be invited to birthday parties? Will she go to her prom? Will she get married? Etc.............

The good news is that I tend to worry less and less about these things as time goes on. Kaitlyn rocks. Seriously, she is super sweet, really kind, very silly, and lots of fun to be around. I can't believe that I ever worried about this child making friends. As she nears the end of her year spent in Kindergarten, I am thrilled to report that Kaitlyn has made lots of really great friends. She has friends from school, the neighborhood, and dance class.

This brings me back to the days when I would pray that she would be invited to a birthday party with her peers. As it turns out, her social calendar rivals the First Lady's. She has been invited to countless parties over the last couple of years. Ahhhh - I can breathe a big sigh of relief.

However, I am finding that my experience of being the mom of a birthday party guest is vastly different than most parents. Here is just one example of what I mean...We had only lived here about a month when Kaitlyn was invited to her first party. It happened to be for her best little girlfriend from school, so I knew we were going. As it turned out, it was at one of those bouncy places. Chris and I have always said that Kaitlyn WILL participate in any event that her peers do, and we will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Who knew what "whatever it takes" really meant??? First, I made a preemptive visit to the facility. I asked for a tour, and asked six thousand questions about safety, if parents could get on the inflatables, the number of children allowed at a time on each bouncy attraction, and if they even allow children with physical challenges into a place like that. After getting my questions answered, and signing my life away on a variety of waivers, I felt ready to tackle the party.

The day of the party Kaitlyn and I arrived to find all of the moms and dads sitting on some benches, drinking their Starbucks coffee, and chit-chatting about all kinds of trivial topics as their kids ran around from bouncy thing to bouncy thing. As the parents sat and had their own party, I spent the next hour and a half holding, dragging, lifting, and bouncing Kaitlyn on every one of those darn bouncy houses, obstacle courses, basketball courts and ball pits. After climbing a set of 40-foot inflatable steps with a four year old in my arms then flying down a crazy slide with her twice, I thought I was going to pass out. I mean really, I'm in no shape for this kind of workout! However, when Kaitlyn said she wanted to do it again (as all of her friends climbed up those darn steps like monkeys scaling a tree at the zoo) I took a deep breath and said "sure honey". It was then that a strapping young man, nearly half my age, took pity on me. He was wearing a "Bounce-U" shirt, and had been running around with all of the kids at the party. He clearly showed none of the signs of exhaustion and fatigue that I was feeling. He turned to me and said "I can take her up the slide if you'd like". While many parents would hesitate to send your child off with a stranger, I happily told him that would be great. Kaitlyn (for better or for worse) is very comfortable with new people, so off she went. I was so thankful that he would step in and help me, even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

Since that day, Chris and I have taken Kaitlyn to princess parties, magic shows, bouncy places, discovery centers, and all kinds of house parties. We have continued to do whatever it takes to make sure she can participate in all of the activities ever other child does. While each time I have to admit that I'd love to sit and chat with the moms, I'm just thrilled that Kaitlyn can enjoy these parties. If that means that I have to miss out on the coffee drinking chit-chat, so be it.

By the way, I have a confession to make. I think that Chris and I may need to tweak our "We will do whatever it takes" statement when it comes to what we are willing to do to ensure that Kaitlyn can attend every party that she wants to. A few months ago, she was invited to a pool party. Gulp. The only way she can go in the water is if I am with her. Can you imagine of having to get into a bathing suit in front of the Starbucks club? Can you think of anything more horrifying??? The saving grace was that she was actually invited to another party that day. It was a princess party at a friend's house - much more convenient for us!!! I was off the hook, and didn't have to even consider the bathing suit situation. I have to admit that I've thought about it since then, and really wonder what I will do if the situation arises again, and we don't have another commitment. I really, really can't see myself splashing around with a bunch of 6 year-olds while all the other parents watch, but how can I deny Kaitlyn that experience especially considering my "Whatever it takes" philosophy. As the warm weather approaches, stay tuned for an update if heaven forbid a pool party invitation comes our way. With that, I'll leave you with the question of what would you do - 1) Expose yourself in a bathing suit in front of the fully-clothed PTA moms for your child's benefit, or 2) Make up a good excuse and spend the day fully dressed...