People say the stupidest things!

I remember when Kaitlyn as a baby all the way up until she was about 2, people used to do that thing that all mothers love... They would stop me in the grocery store or the park just to tell me how cute my little girl was. Back in those days they would see her sitting in the grocery cart or stroller, and of course have no idea that she has CP. She was the sweetest little thing, always smiling at everyone and eating up the compliments.

Since that time we have gotten accustomed to attention of a different nature. Apparently when you go out into the world and look a little different than everyone else, people love to stare. Further, the fact that you use a walker or wear braces gives complete strangers the license to ask you really stupid and hugely inappropriate questions.

When Kaitlyn was little, she was completely oblivious to most of this. So Chris and I would either just ignore people who asked moronic questions, or give them a quick answer just to get them to go away. However, now that Kaitlyn is older, she is unfortunately well aware of the things that people say. Chris and I have worked with her to make sure that she has all of the tools to deal with the questions. Last week at school she had a Q&A session in front of her whole class during which she and her physical therapist answered all of the questions the kids had about her. She told them with ease that she has cerebral palsy, and that her walker and braces just help her to walk better. I love that in schools today differences from hair type, to wearing glasses, to having cerebral palsy are all embraced and discussed. This kind of openness really helps to remove any stigma attached to any difference a child might have.

The funny thing is that the 6-year olds of the world seem to have a much healthier attitude than the adults. Honestly, I find that children who see Kaitlyn for the first time at school, the park, or the mall tend to ask very straight forward questions, and they accept the answers and are able to move on. A typical exchange goes something like this...
CHILD: Why do you have that (pointing to her walker)?
KAITLYN: It helps me walk.
CHILD: Can I have a turn with it?
KAITLYN: No, I need it to walk, but you can ring the bell if you want to.
CHILD: Okay.

Children are naturally curious, and are not expected to filter questions that may or may not be appropriate to ask a stranger. They are also able to accept Kaitlyn with no problem once they understand what the deal is. I truly welcome questions from children. However, and this goes out to any idiot out there who feels inclined to say something wildly rude to a 6-year old... I DO NOT WELCOME THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS THAT YOU ARE COMPELLED TO ASK RIGHT IN FRONT OF KAITLYN...

"What happened to her?"
"What kind of handicap does she have?"
"Are her legs broken?"

And my personal favorite...
"What's wrong with her?" (Chris faced this one in Home Depot this weekend).

While I once read in Dear Abby that I'm not obligated to answer the question posed, and instead I should turn it around and say something like... "Why would ask such an inappropriate question of a complete stranger?", what actually comes to mind is something more like "There's nothing wrong with her. What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid, tactless, brainless, rude, moron???"

As always I'm cognizant of the fact that every action I make sets an example for Kaitlyn. She is always listening and watching to see how I react to these situations, so I take a deep breath, put a smile on my face, and always give people a gentle answer in hopes that they'll take a hint and go away. When people ask what's wrong with her, and she's standing right next to me, I generally say "Nothing is wrong with her. She just needs a little help walking.". Now I'm finding that Kaitlyn has the confidence to answer these questions on her own. She's told me that it doesn't bother her that people ask her these things, and that she's fine answering their questions. She truly is a better person than I am.

While I am thrilled that she seems unfazed by the fact that is required to endure and endless barrage of personal questions, I can't help but wish she lived in a world where people could see past the equipment, and just focus on the beautiful person that Kaitlyn is.