The NICU

Upon her birth, I was told that Kaitlyn had a list of problems that she would need to overcome. In short, the list of diagnoses read something like this:

• Respiratory Distress Syndrome
• Pulmonary Insufficiency of Prematurity
• Anemia
• Apnea
• Hypotension
• Bradychardia
• Collapsed Lung
• Pneumonia
• Jaundice

What I knew was that clearly Kaitlyn had a fight in front of her. What I didn't know was that Kaitlyn would prove to be a fighter. During her 63 day NICU stay, she had some definite ups and downs. On the up side she would prove to be a terrific eater. To think that her first feeding was 1CC (that's one 30th of one ounce) of breast milk and it took 2 hours to administer - unreal! She was at first fed through a tube in her belly button, then the tube was moved to her nose and eventually to her mouth. She hated that tube. She would actually pull it out on her own. Are you getting the picture of a fighter? It wasn't' long before she learned to eat on her own. Go Kaitlyn!

On the down side...

1. Kaitlyn had a terrible problem with her heart rate and breathing. For the first couple of weeks we couldn't hold her. If anyone tried to pick her up, she would stop breathing and her heart would stop. Words cannot describe how painful it is to at this tiny little person and not be able to scoop her up and cuddle her.
   
2. She had problems with anemia, which required 2 blood transfusions.
   
3. She had trouble stabilizing her body temperature.
   
4. During the first couple of weeks her left lung was a disaster. With pneumonia and a collapse, she had some clear obstacles to overcome.

Amazingly, over time, all of these things would be resolved. There were several different treatments and medications required, but one by one Kaitlyn fought through each challenge. Eventually we would be able to hold her for short periods, then for longer. We were thrilled when we could dress her, change her, bathe her and feed her. The NICU was definitely our second home for those months.

People would often comment on how hard it must have been to go there every day. My response was always the same. "It's never hard to go there. It's always hard to leave.". To me the most unnatural feeling in the world is to give birth to your child, then be forced to leave her in another person's care. That was torture for me.

The good news was that after 9 weeks Kaitlyn had grown to a 4 pound baby who was able to eat on her own. Her breathing and heart rate would take longer to improve. It seemed that whenever she was fed she would stop breathing and her heart rate would stop. Ugh. This was the only reason that the hospital insisted she not be released. She needed to go 3 day without this happening in order for them to send her home. We when through a couple of weeks where she would go a day or 2 with good feedings, then on day 3 she would have trouble again. It was then that Chris and I met with her doctors to beg them to allow her to come home. Thankfully, they agreed to release her.

She came home on a monitor that tracked her breathing and heart rate, and was also given her very own oxygen tank. I actually have a home movie of us bringing Kaitlyn home. In the movie, we decide to feed her about 45 minutes after we get home. As you watch this sweet little baby taking her bottle, she suddenly turns blue, and stops breathing. At that point the camera is shut off, and Chris and I would have to give her oxygen treatments to get her breathing again. This would become our new reality.

There is one day I remember particularly well. At 6 days old, it was really the first time I saw Kaitlyn's face. You see, I was knocked out for her birth. So, the first time I saw her she was wearing a hat, she had a mask over her eyes, and she had a huge breathing apparatus covering most of her face. That is how I would see her for the first week of her life. Then, on 4/6/04, I walked into the NICU to find Dr. Kicklighter (one of Kaitlyn's neonatologists) sitting quietly in a rocking chair by Kaitlyn's isollette. He was smiling. There was a screen up so that I couldn't see her, which was strange. Dr. Kicklighter instructed me not to come any closer, because he had a surprise for me. As he removed the screen, I saw Kaitlyn for the first time. No mask. No hat. No big breathing apparatus. Just her. This was literally the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Not only was her face just perfect, and so sweet, but I found out she had a full head of hair - who knew???

Here are a couple of pictures from the early NICU days...



The first time being placed on her belly.


Chris & Kaitlyn

At 6 weeks old, Kaitlyn could FINALLY start wearing clothes. This was her first outfit, a gift from Nana and Buppy. Little did I know then that Kaitlyn would insist on wearing nothing but pink for years to come!!!


First day in clothes!!!